My Identity

Ben Burke

Intro. to Race/Ethnicity

12/03/07

Identification Project

What gives us our identity? Is it where we came from or what we choose to be? Can it be both? Does this whole issue of human identity depend on a person’s race and ethnicity? If you really think about what determines who you are, it is evident that many different factors make who you are? There are the factors that come from birth and your family, while there are those that are self-chosen. It really isn’t clear on what determines those factors unless you look at the experiences you have had with race or ethnicity. In determining my own identity, it will be essential to analyze concepts of race and ethnicity to categorize those factors that lead to my self-identification.

My Own Identity
In own opinion, it is difficult to chose a single word or even phrase that summarizes your identity because there are so many characteristics that are part of an identity. At least for myself, I know there are several different descriptions of myself and there are even some that I don’t even know that regard to ancestry. Part of my ancestry that I do have some knowledge of is my father’s side of the family. My last name itself is Irish and my dad’s side of the family is mostly of Irish descent. On my mother’s side of the family, I do not have any knowledge of nation heritage as the mother of my own left my mother, as a baby, in bar and then she was adopted. In relation to her adopted parents, her father was a white American and her mother was actually Japanese, from Japan. As far as I know, I do not have any Japanese blood in me though that is something that is unclear as well.
What I believe to be a major part of my identity is my personality, which I view as a significant aspect of one’s identity. In describing myself by personality, my sense of humor is what stands out the most about myself. One ability of mine is being able to find humor in things that many others may not see. Another thing is that I can be shy sometimes when I meet new people for the first time but eventually I’m not as shy after I’ve gotten to know them more. I am also very easy going and often go with the flow unless something happens that I don’t necessarily agree with, though as far as doing things socially, I am pretty much content with doing what ever. I believe I somehow obtained these personality traits from people around me as well as just my friends. We basically maintain many of the same personality traits, such as our sense of humor and how easy going we all our generally. Another thing that I believe to be due to my participation in Boy Scouts is that fact that when someone asks me for help, I always say “yes” and do my best to assist them.
Another characteristic of myself that was never a choice, but still a trait, is being of Roman Catholic faith. Nearly every Sunday that I am home, I attend mass with my family, though I do not go when I am at school. For the most part, I follow Catholic traditions, such as not eating meat on Fridays during lent. I also believe in God even though I don’t really agree with the institutions of religion, especially with the Christian religions. I don’t agree with how the Christian religions had to separate even though I understand why they did, historically. Though a thought of mine has always been, with all of the present religions that there are, I don’t see how one religion could be the only answer to this mystery of how the universe has been created. I can see how people who are of one faith have had the influence of religion throughout their lives, which has made them to believe that their religion is the answer to all questions, but somehow I believe that if there are all these ideas about faith and the afterlife, that maybe their could be a combination of many ideas that come from different belief systems. In addition, I don’t always understand how my faith makes God out to be this great being we forgives all yet there is such a thing as Hell and by looking at the bible, we see all the plagues that God put on people. When we look at the Ten Commandments, the first commandment is that there should be no other God but me. So that means that all Muslims and Hindus are going to hell apparently, even though they were raise in their faith. My question is, how can someone be all these different characteristics, especially when they contradict each other? This doesn’t mean that I hate God or don’t believe in Him, but it means that I don’t agree with how the faith characterizes Him.
Another aspect of my identity, which will change eventually, is that I am a college student. Being a student, in general, has been a part of my identity since I was five years old. Eventually, I will become a high school social studies teacher if all things go as planned with school. History has been one of my interests for quite a while and my influence to become a teacher was my eleventh grade, Advance Placement American history teacher, Mr. Braunscheidal. Another reason for deciding to be a teacher was that as a Boy Scout, I taught some of the younger boys to perform certain skill, especially as I got older and more experienced. It was always something I enjoyed as well as most of the skills that I was teaching were outdoor skills, something that I enjoyed since I was very young. I also believe my patience as being part of the reason why I want to be a teacher. When I’ve been teaching skills to the boys in Boy Scouts, sometimes the boys don’t understand how to perform a skill and it would be easy to lose my temper in that kind of situation but I’ve always had the ability to be patient with the boys as I understand that it is difficult to perform some of these skills when you are taught them for the first time. The fact that I am able to empathize with other people, especially those who are younger than me and are having the same experiences that I had, gives me another quality that would contribute to my decision to teach. So when I become a full time teacher, that will become another significant aspect of my personality.
In addition to occupation, heritage, and religion, I see other interests as significant factors of one’s identity. An interest I gained, with credit given to my grandfather, was bowling. It was something that I used to do every once in a while but never really tried to have a 200 game. Although he is my step-father’s father, he has been as good as any real grandfather could be since I never knew the fathers of my birth parents. When I was 13 years-old, he took me out to go bowling and showed me how to bowl using a hook. Even though I found it very difficult at first and put a lot of my shots into the gutter, I started to improve with the practice and training and developed a love for the sport.
For my first two years of high school, I didn’t make the cuts for the team but still bowled recreationally and in leagues with my step-father. I knew after that second year of not making the cut that I had to get some coaching by professionals. The next summer I attended a bowling camp and noticed my game improve immensely after I got practice. My junior year of high school, I barely made the team and had the lowest average of anyone that made it, so I was very relieved. Though I felt good for making, I knew that I would have to work even harder to have any chance of starting on teams “A” or “B.” My coach couldn’t have been any more influential on the improvement of my game as he worked with me endlessly and never gave up on me. Being on the team and going to matches showed me how competitive the sport was and how good the opponent was. After a season where I barely started or even got into scoring during match play, I would then be a starter for my senior season on the team. Though it felt good to bowl for score in the matches, I knew that I would have to stay humble and work hard to keep my spot in the lineup. I always found myself to be my worst critic when it came to bowling, as I am with all sports. It didn’t matter how good I did or how anyone else thought I did, but always how I could have done better. As mediocre as I knew I was, my coach picked me to start on the sectional team, as he said it was a reward for all my hard work, improvement, and my clutch performances. I was thrilled because I thought I would have been the last bowler on the team that he would have chosen. All I can say is that I can’t thank my coach enough for all the time he spent with me to improve my game and he would make bowling a huge part of my life as it is something I do with my friends and family, and get a decent score still as well.
Another identity I take pride in is my love for the Buffalo Sabres and the sport of hockey. Though ice hockey was very expensive, I used to love watching Sabres games with my family and friends. I went to my first game when I was 9 years old and it is a day I will never forget. I got to see Dominick Hasek, a goaltender who I used to idolize as I watched games. Since then and even before, not watching the Sabres has almost been taboo in my house as we never miss a game. Another past time that I still take part in is playing roller and street hockey with my friends. Any time they ask me to play just for fun or as a substitute in a league, I rarely ever turn them down. Thanks to my parents, hockey has been a part of my life.
The truth about self-identity is that there are multiple parts. I am almost positive that I am forgetting something because there are so many characteristics that describe myself in relation to race and ethnicity.
Experiences with Race and Ethnicity
I’ve realized that it is interesting to discuss or even indulge in the concept of race and ethnicity, even when it is something that is different from aspects of one’s identity. As my step-father said, “You will learn something new everyday for the rest of your life.” He was absolutely right, as whether it was something small, stupid, or anything from school, it was something new that I did not know in the past. Now as I reflect on my experiences with race and ethnicity, I realized I learned about other identities and views that people have.
One major aspect of my life that brings confusion to others when I mention it is the fact that my grandmother was Japanese and lived in Japan. When I was younger, as in under the age of ten, I always believed that I was part Japanese as my grandmother was. It wasn’t until later that my mother told me that she was adopted by my grandparents. That was when I realized that there was a biological side of my family that I did not have any knowledge of and that it would be difficult to discover anything about my mother’s ancestry as she did not have a social connection with her biological mother.
For an eighth-grade social studies project, our class was given the task of interviewing people who lived during World War II, whether they were involved with the war or simply civilians. We had to ask them about their experiences during the period of war and what the world around them was like during that time. For my subject, naturally, I would interview my grandmother as she lived in Japan at the time of the war. This would be an opportunity to learn about my grandmother’s background and learn about something new that would probably get me a decent grade in the class.
All in all, in any project that I had to complete throughout my pre-college years, this would be the project that I would learn and be able to take the most from. It all began with where my grandmother lived, which was an island that was under the ownership of the Japanese, which was known as Diren at the time. She said that she lived in a small home with more than five brothers and sisters, older and younger. During the war, she said that her family received very little information about war-related events that were taking place. The most she knew about the war at the time was the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki at the conclusion of the war. When she was eighteen years old, the Russians and the Red Chinese occupied the island after the war and she along with her family had to vacate their home and only bring what they could carry. They would have to have someone free to carry the youngest sister, who was sick, which limited what they could bring even more. Her family then had to board a ship that was headed to Nagasaki and from there they would go to where my grandmother’s brother was living. The ship they boarded as small and very crowded and they were given stale food to eat. Before the family reached Nagasaki, the youngest sister died on board.
When my grandmother turned 21 years old, she met the man who would become her husband. She then moved to the United States and lived in East Otto, a very rural area. After coming to the States, she had very little difficulty finding work even though she was Japanese. She was a boss of other people at an electric company and had one child, Frank, before adopting my mother. It turned out that once reaching the United States, my grandmother had very little difficulty conforming with the American people and she made many friends. Compared to the stories that are heard in social studies class, it didn’t sound like my grandmother had it very difficult in the States.
Another experience I would have that dealt with race recently was with my own mother. With some influence, undoubtedly from her father, she always tends to make jokes with African American stereotypes. I always thought that it was just for fun, without any purpose for offending anyone who was black. During dinner at Thanksgiving, the topic of the next presidency came. Now this next presidency deals with democratic candidates that if elected to the presidency would be the first of their kind to be in the White House: a black man and a woman. My mother was saying how she would rather have Hilary Clinton or John Edwards as president over Borack Obama. Her reason was that if we add a black person to the presidency, then even more black people are going to be appointed to the federal government. I asked why that would be a bad thing anyways even if it happened and she responded that there would be corruption within the government. I again asked her why she thought that and she responded that “that’s simply what would happen.” This conversation was surprising as it lead me to believe that my mother was serious about her views on black people. She was concluding that having Barack Obama as president of the United States would be devastating simply because he is black. I’m sure that she is not the only person who believes that as well. For many, it would just seem to be irregular to have someone in the presidency that is black. I wouldn’t be surprised if people who didn’t support Obama received their view simply due to the fact that he is black. Of course, his past would be used against him as it involved drugs and other acts that people who see as immoral, many view as activities of black people even though white people do the same kind of activity. Just shows how the people will not support something just because it is something that hasn’t happened in the past and they are afraid of what may happen.
Theories of Race and Ethnicity
Through reading and simply just listening, I have been able to see different views and theories that are used to describe race and ethnicity and the difference between the two. I have often noticed that people view ethnicity and race as the same thing. I even used to believe it myself and often confused the terms as being the same thing. It wasn’t until my college American History class where I got the true definition of race and ethnicity. My professor, Timothy Allan, taught our class that race deals with mostly appearance while ethnicity is defined as characteristics that are derived from one’s culture and environment. Throughout my study of race and ethnicity during the semester, I have become familiar with different aspects, opinions and theories on the subject, many involving race.
A concept that I would like to discuss, as it is somewhat personal, is the propaganda displayed in War Without Mercy by John Dower that was used in during World War II. What makes me feel irritated is how the cartoons portrayed Japanese and at least in my opinion, the propaganda was used to characterize the entire Japanese population. I am not saying that I agree with the propaganda designed by the Japanese was any better because I don’t agree that it was. It just seems that knowing my grandmother and where she came, tells me that these American cartoonist did not understand the life of the Japanese. Although she was on an island, she was still Japanese and lived with other Japanese people. Since people like my grandmother received very little information on the war, how can she be characterized as barbaric as the cartoon’s openly state. I want to know where these cartoonists got this information and what their support for their ideas is. If it was so bad when the Japanese characterized the Americans as barbarians when no all Americans fit that characteristic, how is it anymore true about the Japanese people.
On another note and relating to ethnicity and identity, I recently watched an interview with the guitarist/vocalist/pianist, Matthew Bellamy, from the British band Muse. He was asked about the many influences on the ideas for writing his songs and he said a lot of it came from the fact that he was moving to a different location every six months until he was thirteen years old. In addition, he said that the reason this influenced him is because he realized through all this change that people do not have an identity that is strictly their own. Matthew supported this statement by explaining people develop these traits and interests due to where they live and other aspects of their environment and that if all these different things are giving us interest and giving us personality, how can we say that it strictly an identity that belongs to us. All I can say is that I have never thought about it that way. I can see how this plays into ethnicity as the aspects of an individuals identity has come from another source, which makes it something that isn’t strictly our own.
Back tracking to the topic of race again, an ongoing question in the classroom has been “Is race real?” and I must say that I believe now that race is real though I believe that the word “race” is just another word for sub-specie. In relation to Professor Kirshner, I must say that I agree with part of his theory. I do believe now that if there is part of the DNA that distinguishes race, then race must be something that is real. I also believe in the fact that race should not be socially constructed, as even those who are of different races are still considered human beings and should not have privileges that someone of a different race would not have either. What I disagree with is that race gives people certain abilities or stronger abilities than someone of another race would not be able to maintain. How can an Asian person be better at math than any other race just because they are Asian. If that is true, then my roommate, who is an adopted Korean, should not have had an F in Calculus. The difference is that he is adopted and did not get an education that a native Korean would have received in which math is highly emphasized. In Japan, my grandmother said that there was a heavy emphasis on math and that her relatives from Japan have said the same thing. This concludes that it is the environment that one lives in that gives people these abilities. As many people are of more than one race, how does that determine their ability. Like people think that all black people like chicken, tell me a white person who does not like chicken? Race just doesn’t give people abilities, they obtain abilities through their environment.
In general, I have been able to analyze an enormous amount of categories that give me my identity. It has always been unclear to me, but through looking at my experiences with race and ethnicity along with different theories has provoked my thought on the subject and given my opinion on identity.